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Will Storr07 March 2022

How and Why We Play Social Status Games - Will Storr

3Frameworks
13Insights

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Frameworks in this episode

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 3

Myth Buster21:49

“I Don't Care What People Think” Is Usually Another Status Claim

Storr argues that socially functional people are wired to care about others' judgments. Announcing indifference often performs independence and superiority for an audience, making the statement itself a status signal.

  • Concern for reputation is part of normal human social functioning.
  • Declared indifference can signal superiority.
  • The audience's perception still matters to the person making the declaration.
  • Total indifference would impair social adjustment.

It's in the human machine is part of our human nature to care about what other people think of us.

Will Storr · 21:49

it's obviously very important to them, that other people think that they don't care what other people think about them.

Will Storr · 22:10
#reputation#self-image#social psychology
Myth Buster49:22

Virtue Signalling Is Not Automatically Disingenuous

Virtue has to be communicated before observers can reward it, so everyone engages in some form of virtue signalling. Ordinary manners can signal moral character, and even complaining about virtue signalling can itself advertise one's standards and discernment.

  • Virtue signalling is a universal social behaviour.
  • Signalling does not prove that the underlying virtue is false.
  • Manners such as saying please and thank you communicate virtue.
  • Moral rewards depend partly on other people seeing the conduct.
  • Criticising virtue signalling can itself be virtue signalling.

No virtue signalling everybody is virtue signalling

Will Storr · 49:22

complaining about signalling is virtually.

Will Storr · 50:04
#virtue signalling#morality#reputation
Myth Buster53:35

Why Faking High Status Online Is More Likely to Feed Narcissism

Projecting an inflated life online is unlikely to create healthy self-esteem. Status claims disconnected from real conduct resemble the narcissistic demand that others grant prestige without evidence, and audiences tend to dislike overt, unearned displays.

  • False presentation does not create authentic self-worth.
  • The self-esteem movement overstated the power of positive assertion.
  • Unearned status demands are associated with narcissism.
  • People resist overt and unsupported status claims.
  • Healthy prestige must connect to genuine value or conduct.

if you want to get status, that's not actually connected to anything real. That's what narcissists. Do.

Will Storr · 54:00

They just say I deserve high status, and you will treat me as high status.

Will Storr · 54:10
#narcissism#self-esteem#social media#authenticity

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take34:09

Social Media Is a Slot Machine Where Users Gamble for Status

Social platforms did not invent status seeking; they discovered and amplified a universal human appetite. Unpredictable likes, comments, and attention turn each contribution into a wager whose variable reward is social status.

  • Platforms evolved in response to user behaviour rather than a complete original master plan.
  • Variable rewards encourage compulsive checking.
  • Posts and comments become wagers for recognition.
  • The universality of status helps explain social media's global adoption.
  • Likes provide explicit, rapidly refreshed status feedback.

I call that the social media a slot machine for, for status.

Will Storr · 35:25

Whenever you make a contribution social media, whether it's a comment on Twitter, or a photo on Instagram, or whatever, or something on LinkedIn about…

Will Storr · 36:50
#social media#addiction#variable rewards#status

Explainer· 7

Explainer09:41

Why Status Seeking Can Make People More Useful and Moral

Status is not inherently corrupting; it evolved partly as a reward for contributing value to a group. Communities grant prestige for virtue and success, encouraging generosity, courage, skill, discovery, and other socially useful behaviour.

  • Tribes needed incentives for self-interested individuals to cooperate.
  • Virtue status rewards generosity, courage, and rule enforcement.
  • Success status rewards useful skills and achievements.
  • Moral and scientific heroes demonstrate status operating constructively.
  • Steve Jobs's rivalry with Microsoft helped catalyse the iPhone.

it's also what was made civilization is what is what makes us good people.

Will Storr · 09:41

it's this reward that you get for being valuable for being useful for being kind, generous.

Will Storr · 10:50
#status#cooperation#morality#innovation
Explainer14:35

Why Humiliation Can Become Psychologically and Physically Dangerous

People need to feel respected and valued, making status a social nutrient rather than a superficial luxury. Repeated status loss can contribute to depression, anxiety, physical illness, and, in extreme cases, violence—especially when humiliation appears to make future status recovery impossible.

  • Low status can produce stress, anxiety, and depression.
  • Humiliation combines status loss with apparent exclusion from future recovery.
  • Exclusion carried survival consequences in ancestral groups.
  • Humiliation is implicated in several forms of extreme violence.
  • Managers should never use humiliation as a motivational tool.

status is this kind of social nutrient, it's like it's an essential kind of thing that we need.

Will Storr · 14:35

you've been robbed of all your status within a group, you've been robbed of the ability to claim it ever again in the future

Will Storr · 15:10
#humiliation#mental health#violence#belonging
Explainer29:20

How Average Interest Differences Can Shape Gendered Hierarchies

Storr cautiously discusses evidence that women tend, on average, to be more interested in people and men more interested in things. Those aggregate interests can influence who enters particular industries and therefore who appears at the top, though the claim is a generalisation and does not describe every individual.

  • Average group differences do not determine individual interests.
  • People-oriented and things-oriented sectors attract different workforces.
  • Representation gaps are not automatically proof of discrimination.
  • People-centred industries often receive lower pay.
  • The causes may include both biology and socialisation.

generally speaking, there are difference in interests in the kind of games that we play.

Will Storr · 29:20

women tend to be more interested in people and men tend to be more interested in interested in things.

Will Storr · 29:35
#gender#work#interests#hierarchies
Explainer31:55

Why Individual Praise Can Raise Status in the West but Cause Shame in Japan

Status pursuit is universal, but cultures supply different rules. Western individualist settings often reward personal distinction, whereas communitarian East Asian settings may prize group service and treat individual praise as embarrassing when it diminishes peers by comparison.

  • Race is not the useful explanatory category; culture is.
  • Western status often emphasises individual achievement.
  • Communitarian status often emphasises serving the group.
  • Individual praise can disturb group harmony in Japan.
  • Traits such as shyness may carry different leadership meanings across cultures.

no race differences, but certainly lots and lots of cultural differences.

Will Storr · 33:50

in Japan, if an individual is picked out, one member of a group is picked up for individual praise. That seems extremely shameful, and embarrassing

Will Storr · 32:35
#culture#individualism#collectivism#japan#leadership
Explainer40:38

The Whitehall Studies Link Lower Rank to Worse Health Outcomes

Research on Britain's highly stratified civil service found that lower hierarchical position predicted poorer health and higher mortality independently of ordinary lifestyle explanations. Comparable hierarchy experiments with baboons produced changing health outcomes when researchers changed rank, suggesting that relative status can affect the body.

  • Higher civil-service rank correlated with better health outcomes.
  • The effect was not reducible to diet, exercise, or wealth.
  • Baboons lower in a hierarchy suffered more from an unhealthy diet.
  • Health outcomes changed when the baboon hierarchy changed.
  • Chronic inflammation is one proposed mechanism.

the higher up the hierarchy, the better your health outcomes, and the lower your mortality.

Will Storr · 40:38

the health outcomes changed in lockstep.

Will Storr · 42:00
#health#whitehall studies#hierarchy#inflammation
Explainer45:13

How Status Competition Changes from Toy Fights to Teenage Risk-Taking

Status sensitivity appears early when children fight over toys partly because possession places one child “on top.” During adolescence, brain and social changes shift attention toward peer judgment, producing the striking combination of risk-taking, embarrassment, and intense self-consciousness.

  • Young children use possessions as status symbols.
  • Toy disputes can concern rank as much as enjoyment.
  • Adolescents become highly sensitive to peer evaluation.
  • Risk-taking can advertise courage or distinction.
  • Peer groups become the first major adult-style status game.

toys as a status symbol there isn't they want the toy is not because they want the toy. It's because we're who has the toys…

Will Storr · 45:35

the peer group is this is a status game. It's the first proper status that they play.

Will Storr · 46:55
#children#adolescence#peer groups#development
Explainer48:38

Why Evolution Made the Brain Use Status as a Survival Shortcut

In ancestral groups, higher status improved access to food, safe sleeping sites, mates, and care for children. The brain could therefore use status as a practical proxy: pursue rank and several survival and reproductive advantages tend to improve together.

  • Higher status increased access to scarce resources.
  • Rank affected safety and mate choice.
  • Children of higher-status people received better care.
  • Status became a proxy for survival and reproduction.
  • The resulting drive remains powerful in modern environments.

Basically, the more status we got, the better able we were to survive and reproduce.

Will Storr · 48:55

if you go for status, everything else gets better.

Will Storr · 49:05
#evolution#survival#reproduction#brain

Story· 1

Story43:47

Why a Battered Land Rover Can Signal More Status Than a Shiny BMW

Objects have no fixed status value outside a social game. A luxury car may signal prestige to one group while seeming vulgar to another; an old muddy Land Rover or deliberately small television can instead signify inherited class, environmental values, or anti-materialism.

  • Status symbols derive meaning from group-specific criteria.
  • An Audi or BMW can signify either success or low taste depending on the observer.
  • Anti-materialism can function as a status claim.
  • Rejecting possessions does not mean leaving status competition.
  • People often look down on rival scorecards to elevate their own.

we all play different status games, and we all have different criteria for claiming status.

Will Storr · 44:20

he wasn't playing the status game because he didn't care about positions and all that stuff. But of course, he was just that's his. That's…

Will Storr · 44:45
#status symbols#class#cars#anti-materialism

Q&A· 1

Q&A50:10

How to Confront a Humiliating Manager Without Escalating the Fight

Repeated workplace humiliation should not be silently endured. Storr recommends first describing the impact directly and calmly, then escalating through formal reporting if the behaviour continues; emotional restraint reduces the chance that the conversation is interpreted as a dominance challenge.

  • Humiliation is both cruel and counterproductive.
  • Start with direct, honest communication.
  • Describe how the behaviour affects you rather than launching an angry attack.
  • Keep emotion out of the delivery while remaining sincere.
  • Report the manager if direct communication fails.

the way to fix it, were by going up to that person, they're actually sitting down with him and saying, Look, I'm fine. Yeah, I'm…

Will Storr · 51:10

when you are having those difficult conversations at work, keep the emotion out of it.

Will Storr · 52:35
#workplace#management#humiliation#conflict