Opposite Action
Act against an unhelpful urge before motivation arrives
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 97%
Opposite Action is a Dialectical Behaviour Therapy technique for separating an urge from the behaviour that normally follows it. Begin by noticing the impulse—such as making another drink, checking a device, or abandoning a difficult draft—and identify the uncomfortable feeling it may be helping you avoid. Decide whether acting on that urge supports your longer-term aim. If it does not, deliberately perform the useful opposite action, such as opening the document and writing despite expecting poor work. The first objective is not quality but movement. Once action begins, attention can shift from resisting the task to engaging with it, allowing momentum to develop. Practising on harmless urges can strengthen awareness that impulses are experiences rather than commands.
Origin
Extracted from Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal, where Dr Julie Smith connects her writing process to the DBT technique of Opposite Action.
Core principles
- 01An urge does not require obedience
- 02Avoidance often protects against anticipated discomfort
- 03Action can precede motivation
- 04Starting imperfectly lowers the barrier to engagement
- 05Urge tolerance improves through practice
How to run it
- 1
Catch the Urge
Pause when you feel pulled to avoid, delay, withdraw, or distract yourself. State the urge clearly without immediately acting on it.
Pro tip Use a simple label such as 'I have the urge to leave this task.'
Watch out Do not shame yourself for having the urge.
- 2
Identify What It Protects
Ask which feeling or prediction sits beneath the urge. Common examples include fear of producing poor work, boredom, embarrassment, or uncertainty.
Pro tip Look for the discomfort that the alternative activity would temporarily remove.
Watch out Do not mistake a legitimate physical or safety need for avoidance.
- 3
Test the Direction
Compare the urged behaviour with the outcome you want. If following the urge moves you away from that outcome, define its useful opposite.
Pro tip Make the opposite behaviour concrete and immediate.
Watch out An abstract intention will not interrupt the habitual response.
- 4
Act Opposite
Begin the useful behaviour while allowing the unwanted feeling to remain. Do not wait to feel confident or motivated first.
Pro tip Commit only to the first few minutes if the full task feels overwhelming.
Watch out Trying to eliminate discomfort before acting can become another form of avoidance.
- 5
Permit Imperfection
Expect the initial attempt to be rough and continue anyway. Let engagement, rather than self-evaluation, occupy your attention.
Pro tip Use a deliberately imperfect first draft to reduce performance pressure.
Watch out Repeatedly reviewing the beginning can reactivate criticism and escape urges.
- 6
Review the Result
Notice whether the urge changed after action began and what helped you remain engaged. Use that evidence during the next episode of avoidance.
Pro tip Record successful instances to make the skill easier to recall.
Watch out One difficult attempt does not mean the technique cannot improve with practice.
In the wild
While writing her book, Julie notices an urge to make a third cup of tea because she expects the next passage to be terrible. She identifies the avoidance and starts typing anyway, explicitly allowing the first attempt to be bad. After beginning, she gets into a groove and stops focusing on escape.
→ Beginning opposite to the urge creates enough momentum for sustained writing.
A learner holds a mint in their mouth and notices the strong urge to crunch it. Instead of obeying automatically, they allow the urge to exist without biting down. This low-stakes exercise demonstrates that an impulse and an action are separate events.
→ The learner develops awareness and tolerance that can later be applied to more consequential urges.
Common mistakes
Waiting to feel ready
The method depends on acting before motivation or confidence appears. Waiting for a better emotional state preserves the avoidance cycle.
Demanding a perfect start
Judging initial quality raises the emotional cost of beginning. The first aim is action, not polished output.
Ignoring legitimate signals
Not every urge should be opposed. Genuine danger, illness, or accumulated exhaustion may require protection or recovery instead.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for moments when a person knows the appropriate action but does not feel motivated to take it.
Not ideal for
It is not appropriate when an urge is warning of genuine danger, exhaustion, or a need that should be addressed.
From the transcript
“you can have an urge to do something, and you don't have to go with it, you can do something else, you can act opposite…”
“So I'm going to just gonna start a knowing it's terrible.”
From the episode
A Psychologists Guide To A Meaningful Life with Dr Julie Smith
Dr Julie Smith