Values in Action (Peace of Mind Framework)
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- —
Peters argues that peace of mind — not happiness — is the only durable psychological goal, and that it comes from defining and living out your values. A value is a moral stance: what the right thing is in your eyes, with an action attached. The method forces abstraction into behaviour: name the value, define exactly how it is demonstrated, count the demonstrations, then order your values into a hierarchy and revise them as beliefs change. The daily check is a mirror question — did I live by my values today, am I proud of the person in front of me — which Peters says can override exam results, external opinion and achievement anxiety. Values-based living also solves the gold-medal problem, where achievement can no longer supply meaning.
Origin
Extracted from Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal
How to run it
- 1
Name the value as a moral stance
Peters defines a value as a moral stance you take — what the right thing is in your eyes. His worked example is respecting other people: if you respect them you feel good, if you disrespect someone you feel bad and your peace of mind is lost.
Watch out A value with no felt consequence when violated is probably not one of your actual values.
- 2
Define how the value is demonstrated
Most people know the label but not the behaviour. Peters asks 'well how do you demonstrate respect?' and offers a concrete answer: listening to someone does not mean you have to agree with them, but it does mean you have to understand them and make sure they know you understood and respect the opinion.
Pro tip Convert each value into a specific observable action you could film yourself doing.
- 3
Count the demonstrations
Peters gives people a week and asks them to count how many times they demonstrated the value in action — stopping mid-conversation to say 'no, stop, I need to listen to you first, and I need to check I've understood, then I'll discuss it'.
Pro tip The count matters less than the interruption it forces — you cannot count what you did not consciously do.
- 4
Build a hierarchy
Values collide, so you must rank them. Peters names respect for others versus self-respect as a common collision and insists only you can decide the order. He works through this as a course: define values, test them, then examine collisions, hierarchies and modification.
Watch out Getting the hierarchy the wrong way round still loses you peace of mind, even though you are technically living out your values.
- 5
Revise values as your beliefs change
Values shift because the beliefs beneath them shift. Peters uses the holiday scam example: 'I will always help someone who asks for help' becomes, once you recognise you were being used, 'whenever I know someone is genuine I will always help them' — a modified value, not an abandoned one.
Pro tip Modify rather than discard. The underlying commitment usually survives; the qualifier is what needs updating.
- 6
Run the daily mirror check
Whatever life is throwing at you, look in the mirror and ask: did I live by my values today, am I proud of the person that sat in front of me. Peters says once you start doing this it can override 'did I do well in an exam' or 'what do people think of me'.
Pro tip Pair with Peters' closing caution — go out, look at the sky, be happy, and keep a sense of humour about it.
Watch out Do not get so heavy and analytical that you strangle yourself. Peters calls over-analysis counterproductive.
In the wild
Peters uses this on people with low self-esteem who are downing themselves. He asks them to describe their best friends, and calls it a trap they always fall into. They describe them as nice, kind, people who listen, someone with a sense of humour, reliable. Nobody ever opens with 'he's got a degree in Business Studies' or 'she got a first'. Peters then asks whether the credentials are important, and they say no. His point lands immediately: you cannot be a hypocrite. If you weigh your friends and partner on values, you must weigh yourself on values too, rather than flicking to external achievements and possessions when judging yourself.
→ The self-assessment criteria get realigned with the criteria the person already applies to everyone else.
Asked about life after peak achievement, Peters offered himself as the example. He lives on a farm and does animal rescue. Patting the donkey, he says, is more rewarding than another degree — 'you think, not another degree'. He acknowledges it sounds ridiculous but insists it is true, and frames it as having deliberately reset one of his values around what actually makes him feel good. Rescuing an animal would do that; rescuing a person is great. The point generalises: after the pinnacle, the search is not for a bigger achievement but for different golden moments.
→ Fulfilment relocated from achievement to values, making it renewable rather than exhaustible.
Peters is clear that money helps — 'when people say money doesn't make you happy that's true but blind me it goes a long way'. But he describes rich businessmen who come in worrying, doing extremely well by every metric of their method of success, who then start talking about not relating to their daughter and ask how do I get her to love me, I can't communicate. He calls it sad, and notes money does not buy that. His diagnosis: if someone is all Chimp they may stay happy with what they have got, but a more Human person finds achievement disillusioning and arrives feeling life is empty.
→ The work shifts to identifying what their values actually are and why they were pursuing the achievement at all.
Common mistakes
Judging yourself on criteria you'd never use on friends
People describe their friends entirely in terms of kindness, reliability and humour, then assess themselves entirely on degrees, achievements and possessions. Peters names this hypocrisy directly. He is not against achievement or possessions — he just says keep them in their place: 'if you're weighing your friends up on values, weigh yourself up on values'.
Naming a value without defining the action
Peters finds that when he asks how someone demonstrates a stated value, they do not know. A value without an attached action cannot be practised, cannot be counted, and cannot be checked in the mirror at the end of the day — so it produces no peace of mind. The whole framework rests on 'values in action', not on values as declarations.
Over-analysing until you strangle yourself
Peters closes on this deliberately. Death by analysis is a real failure mode — you need some element of spontaneity. He tells people to laugh at themselves, not take it too hard, go out and look at the sky and be happy. Life is about fun as well as learning; being permanently therapeutic and analytical is itself counterproductive.
From the transcript
“a value is a moral stance that you're taking it's what the right thing is in your eyes it's doing the right thing but it's…”
“whatever life's throwing at you I ask people look in the mirror and say did I live by my values today am I proud of…”
“if we look at peace of mind that's the only thing that gives people peace of mind not happiness peace of mind”
From the episode
Join The Top 1%: The Mindset Behind The World's Top Performers - Professor Steve Peters
Professor Steve Peters