People Helping People: Building a Career Community
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~months to results
- Steps
- 7
- Confidence
- —
Tupper replaces 'networking' — measured in connections and followers — with a career community measured by whether it is active and effective: people helping people. The design has two layers. The 3 D's set the shape: distance (not everyone should be someone you see every day), donating (lead with what you can give) and diversity (no echo chamber). Four roles then make it practical: a mentor who has done what you want to do, a peer going through what you're going through, a sponsor with access and influence who can advocate for you, and someone with a coaching approach who asks questions rather than answering them. The giving-first stance is not altruism theatre — helping produces a genuine boost, and Adam Grant's research shows givers get more back. The one rule: never treat it as a transaction.
Origin
Extracted from Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal
How to run it
- 1
Stop counting connections, start counting help
A large number of LinkedIn connections or followers is not a good network. The test is whether the relationship is active (help is actually being given) and effective (someone was actually helped). Reframe the whole activity as people helping people.
Watch out Being connected to a lot of people is not the same as having a community around your career.
- 2
Apply the 3 D's — distance, donating, diversity
Distance: include people further from your day-to-day context who can see what you can't. Donating: make sure you are giving, not only receiving. Diversity: deliberately avoid a community made up of people just like you or people you see every day.
Pro tip Weak ties matter — help people you don't have a big connection with, because you never know where it goes.
- 3
Fill the four roles
Audit your community against four roles everyone should have. Mentor: someone who has done what you'd like to do. Peer: someone going through what you're going through. Sponsor: someone with access and influence over an area you're interested in who can advocate for you. Coach: someone who asks good questions and lets you think.
Pro tip A mentor relationship can be a single meeting — it doesn't have to endure for the rest of your career to count.
Watch out A coach doesn't have to be a paid professional; a paid career coach isn't accessible to everyone.
- 4
Lead with what you've got to give
Start every relationship from 'what do I know that can help you grow'. Helping produces a genuine helper's high, and it makes the awkwardness of relationship-building disappear. Trust that the good stuff comes back — career karma — rather than tracking it.
Pro tip Adam Grant's work on give and take shows givers get more back over time.
Watch out The moment help becomes an explicit trade, it stops working.
- 5
Work out WHAT you want to learn before WHO
Define the specific thing you want to learn — say, how to build an investment fund from scratch — then ask who has done that. If nobody in your network has, ask a contact 'do you know anyone who has done X?' rather than asking for an introduction to a name.
Watch out People approach senior names because it looks impressive; that's how you end up with an unspecific request nobody can act on.
- 6
Make the request specific, short and easy to say yes to
Never open with 'will you be my mentor' — it's too big and too vague. Instead state what you're focused on, why you're coming to that person specifically, and ask for a bounded amount of time: half an hour to share what they learned so you can use it. Make it as easy as possible for them to help you.
Pro tip Naming why you chose them is what turns a cold ask into an easy yes.
- 7
Follow up with what you did with the advice
If you want the conversation to continue, the mentee has to follow up. Wait a few days, actually do something with what they shared, then go back and say what you've already done as a result. The mentor gets a second boost — knowing the impact of their effort — which makes them far more likely to help again.
Pro tip Don't follow up the same day; do the work first so the follow-up carries evidence.
Watch out Waiting for the mentor to chase you is how a promising connection quietly dies.
In the wild
Helen's business is considering creating an investment fund so it can back other people working in the careers space rather than only operating in it themselves. She has never done that, so she works the sequence in order: first the what — she wants to learn about building an investment fund from scratch — then the who: someone who has actually built one. If nobody in her network has, she asks a contact 'do you know anyone who has done this?' rather than asking for a named introduction. The request itself leads with her goal, why she is coming to that specific person, and an ask for half an hour.
→ A specific, easy-to-answer request instead of an unanswerable 'will you be my mentor'.
Helen's clearest example of the peer role is her business partner Sarah Ellis, who has been her peer for twenty years — long before they worked together. The value of a peer, she argues, is that they are going through what you're going through, so the conversation accelerates development in both directions rather than flowing one way. Helen is blunt about the compounding effect: she would not be where she is without that relationship, and it has massively accelerated her growth. It also illustrates the distance principle — a peer is close to your context, which is why the network also needs people further away.
→ Two decades of compounding, two-way development from one deliberately maintained peer relationship.
Common mistakes
Asking someone to 'be my mentor'
It's too big and too vague an ask, and it usually goes to senior people chosen because they look impressive. Realistically, how much time does that person have for an open-ended commitment? Define what you want to learn, then make a bounded, specific request.
Treating help as a transaction
Helping someone so that they'll help you back — 'I'll help with the book so he'll help with YouTube' — breaks the mechanism. You can be intentional about which relationships you build without trading favours; the return comes from the pattern, not the swap.
Building an echo chamber
A network of people just like you, all inside your daily context, can't show you what you can't already see. Diversity and distance are what make a community a source of opportunity, learning and feedback rather than agreement.
From the transcript
“a good Community around your career is one that is active and effective”
“there are four roles that we recommend people to build into their Network”
“I just think a mentor is somebody who has done what you would like to do”
From the episode
5 Skills To Succeed in ANY Career - Helen Tupper (Squiggly Careers)
Helen Tupper (Squiggly Careers)