The Multi-Dimensional Model of Perfectionism
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- —
Decades of talking to perfectionistic people produced a three-part map that Curran uses instead of a single perfectionist label. Self-oriented perfectionism is the demand aimed inward, dominant in individualistic cultures. Socially prescribed perfectionism is the sense that everyone around you expects flawlessness and is waiting to judge, more dominant in collectivistic cultures. Other-oriented perfectionism turns the demand outward onto colleagues, partners and staff, punishing them when they fall short. Because perfectionism is measured as a spectrum rather than a binary, the useful question is not whether you are a perfectionist but which dimension runs highest and where the standards come from. The diagnostic matters practically: the same behaviour, high standards, can be healthy conscientiousness, deficit-driven perfectionism, or narcissism, and each needs a different response.
Origin
Extracted from Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal
How to run it
- 1
Drop the binary framing
Perfectionism is measured like any personality trait, with a string of agree-disagree items aggregated into a score. It is not I am or I am not a perfectionist; most people sit somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, and Curran's updated data shows that middle creeping upward over time, especially among young people.
Watch out A label invites all-or-nothing thinking, which is itself a perfectionistic move.
- 2
Rate the self-oriented items
Score your agreement with statements like: I must be perfect at the things that matter to me; if I screw up or fall short, I'm hard on myself; I hold myself to an exceptionally high standard; if I do not appear or perform perfectly, I feel a lot of guilt and shame; I strive to be perfect.
Pro tip Note where the guilt and shame item lands specifically. That is the deficit signature, not the standards.
- 3
Rate the socially prescribed items
Score statements like: when I slip up or fall short, people are right there waiting to criticise me; everyone else is perfect and they're judging me if I'm not perfect too; those close to me will accept nothing less than perfection; people tend to get upset with me if I don't do things perfectly; everybody expects me to be perfect.
Pro tip High scores here often track collectivistic family or community expectation rather than internal demand.
Watch out Curran calls this the particularly pernicious social route to perfectionism.
- 4
Rate the other-oriented items
Score statements like: I find it difficult to tolerate substandard performances from those around me; if people aren't trying their absolute hardest, I let them know; everyone should totally excel at things that are important to them; when someone close to me screws up, it's important to call them out; I dislike being surrounded by people who've got low standards.
Pro tip Check your last few interactions with your team before answering; other-oriented perfectionism is easy to mistake for leadership.
- 5
Trace where the standards come from
The same high standards can have three different roots. Conscientiousness and diligence come from an optimistic wish to improve and can let things go. Perfectionism comes from deficit and cannot. Narcissistic perfectionism looks similar outwardly but the person actually believes the bulletproof narrative, so their self-esteem is high and the cost lands on the people around them.
Pro tip The tell for perfectionism is whether you can let a missed standard go and take the learning.
Watch out Other-oriented perfectionism can appear either fused with self-oriented perfectionism or divorced from it and fused with narcissism.
- 6
Match the intervention to the dominant dimension
A high self-oriented profile points at self-compassion and letting go of self-set standards. A high socially prescribed profile points at examining the environment and expectations pressing in from outside. A high other-oriented profile points at the projection: hauling yourself over hot coals and demanding others do the same because it feels fair.
In the wild
Curran writes about Steve Jobs in the book as an illustration of the outward-facing dimension. Autobiographical accounts describe an incredible entrepreneur who expected perfection in his own life and of himself, but crucially also expected perfection of other people, and when they were not up to his standard he let them know. Curran contrasts this with his own profile: he would not dream of imposing on others the standards he places on himself. Same trait family, opposite direction of fire.
→ Shows that perfectionism can be diagnosed by direction of demand, not just intensity of standards.
Ali describes friends at Cambridge medical school studying in constant striving to avoid failure, because failing would confirm what they secretly believed, that they never belonged there. Asking one of them what they scored on an exam was the worst thing in the world. Ali and other friends treated the same exam like a board game, comparing scores as competition. Identical high standards, identical workload, but the first group was operating from deficit and the second was not.
→ The socially prescribed and self-oriented items separate two groups that look identical on effort alone.
Common mistakes
Reading the scale as a yes or no label
Perfectionism sits on a spectrum, exactly like conscientiousness, extroversion or neuroticism. Declaring yourself a perfectionist or not a perfectionist discards the information the multi-dimensional model exists to give you.
Confusing high standards with perfectionism
Meticulousness, conscientiousness, diligence and perseverance all involve high standards and striving for good results, and Curran calls them great things. What differentiates perfectionism is that it starts from deficit and cannot let a missed standard go.
Ignoring the other-oriented column
Ali's instinct was that other-oriented perfectionism did not belong under perfectionism at all. Skipping it hides projection onto teams and partners, which carries real interpersonal cost even when the person's own mental health looks fine.
From the transcript
“So the multi-dimensional model of perfectionism really an acknowledgement that perfectionism is more than just personal standards.”
“And then there's a third aspect called other-oriented perfectionism, which is kind of perfectionism that's turned outwards onto other people.”
“it's not I am a perfectionist or you aren't a perfectionist, but it's really, you know, where we sit on the perfectionism spectrum”
From the episode
World Expert On Why Perfectionism Is Your Enemy And How To Overcome It - Professor Thomas Curran
Professor Thomas Curran